


师姐总会站在您身旁 | (your sister) Will Always Be By Your Side

by PotterheadAvengerDemigod



Series: Blue Blood [5]
Category: Founder of Diabolism, The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon)
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alpha Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Discussion of Abortion, Emotional, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, Gen, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Jiāng Yànlí is the best, Love, M/M, Mpreg, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Omega Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Pregnancy, Protective Siblings, Sad, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love, Siblings, Teen Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, and theres no real happy ending even though you guys know how it goes, except it's not really dubcon but wwx thinks it is, it deserves to be one, ngl this is pretty heavy emotions wise, ok im done with the tags for now i think, why is that not a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 08:55:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18246557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PotterheadAvengerDemigod/pseuds/PotterheadAvengerDemigod
Summary: Shijie is the first to notice that anything is out of the ordinary.“A-Xian? Aren’t you supposed to be in pre-heat now?”/OR/ The one where Jiang Yanli really does deserve the award for best sibling, and Wei Wuxian is a mess of emotions that he doesn't know how to process. (It's really not as light-hearted as this makes it sound)





	师姐总会站在您身旁 | (your sister) Will Always Be By Your Side

**Author's Note:**

> So, I had a few people asking in the comments of my latest fic in this series for something like this, so I tried my best? The idea rattled around in my head for a while before I decided to finally write it out, so I hope I did it justice!  
> (Also, wow, three chapters in four days, I have no idea how I'm writing this fast, but honestly I don't think this pace is going to keep up haha)  
> But I hope you guys enjoy this, although please do keep in mind that this one is nowhere near as light-hearted as the previous fics in this series.
> 
> (IMPORTANT) There's discussion of some pretty heavy topics so if you guys don't like those, please take note of the tags and don't read if you think it might trigger anything!

Shijie is the first to notice that anything is out of the ordinary. She brings it up one day, when she drops by his room to bring him a bowl of soup.

She looks almost surprised when Wei Wuxian opens the door and welcomes her in with a grin, gesturing for her to put the bowl of soup down on his table, beside the notes for the new inventions he’d been working on.

“A-Xian?” She asks, tilting her head. “Aren’t you supposed to be in pre-heat now?”

Ah. Wei Wuxian’d forgotten that Shijie was the kind of person who memorised his heat schedule out of the kindness of her heart.

He shrugs. Come to think of it, he  _ was  _ meant to be in pre-heat now, and his heats usually came on schedule. Ah, but who knew how demonic cultivation and all that resentful energy he’d absorbed in Burial Mounds had affected him? There was really no reason to be worried.

Wei Wuxian shrugs and offers Shijie another grin. “Not sure,” he says. “Don’t really know how the resentful energy in Burial Mounds reacted with my hormones, for all I know I could be unable to conceive now.”

Wei Wuxian himself isn’t particularly bothered by the idea, in fact, the thought of not having to deal with heats for the rest of his life without medical herbs sounds pretty great, actually. But his shijie seems upset, her eyes wide and shiny with unshed tears, her hands clasped over her mouth.

Wei Wuxian tells himself that he is fully justified in his panic. He rushes to comfort Shijie, telling her about how he really couldn’t care less about being able to carry, about the perks of not having to go through another heat.

“Besides,” he says, smiling as brightly as he can. “It’s really not like I’ve ever meant to have a child anyway!”

He giggles a little at the thought. “Can you imagine, Shijie?  _ Me,  _ being a mother? Haha, the child would make Jiang Cheng tear all his hair out! Better that I never reproduce, ask Jiang Cheng, he would agree!”

Shijie doesn’t really look that consoled, but at least she doesn’t look like she’s going to cry anymore, so Wei Wuxian gives himself a pat on the back and considers his job done.

Then Wei Wuxian remembers that he  _ had,  _ in fact, had a heat after coming back from Burial Mounds.

Ahh, maybe it had just been a one-time thing. It was probably a fluke, it had really been only a pseudo-heat, after all. Besides, it had come and gone within the hour, it probably really  _ was  _ his body just getting rid of all the last remaining hormones in him.

He conveniently ignores the voice in the back of his mind that says,  _ “Maybe it’s because you had an alpha with you then.” _

* * *

Two days later, Shijie finds Wei Wuxian vomiting his guts out beside the outhouse.

He’d woken up nauseous, a strange feeling like he’d somehow gotten boatsick -although Wei Wuxian has  _ never  _ been boatsick in his life- on land.

Once again, Shijie expresses more concern than even Wei Wuxian himself feels, but he writes it off as him probably having eaten something bad.

“It’s nothing,” he says, wiping the vomit from the side of his lips and offering Shijie a smile. “I probably ate something I shouldn’t have when I went out yesterday. Don’t worry about this shidi of yours so much, Shijie, you’ll make that peacock fiancé of yours jealous, then I’ll have to punch him for not treasuring you!”

Wei Wuxian’s sickness sufficiently forgotten, Shijie shares a demure smile with him, and they walk back to his room together.

* * *

A week later Wei Wuxian misses breakfast because he’s overslept, and Shijie brings him a bowl of his favourite spicy congee.

She puts the bowl down in front of Wei Wuxian, who grins up at her in gratitude before grabbing the spoon. He scoops a spoonful of it into his mouth, Shijie watching him the whole time, smiling.

Then the taste hits him, and he gags. He forcibly swallows down the congee, staring in dismay at the bowl.

“A-Xian?” Shijie asks, clearly concerned. “Is everything okay?”

Wei Wuxian coughs, grabbing for his water and gulping it down, trying to soothe his roiling stomach.

“Did Shijie change her congee recipe?” He asks after a long moment, still trying not to vomit.

Shijie shakes her head, eyes wide. “No, I made this just the way you like it, A-Xian. Is there something wrong-”

Wei Wuxian coughs again, and swallows down the bile rising in his throat. He drinks his water again.

“No, no, maybe I just drank too much last night! My body is still adjusting to all the alcohol, haha!”

Wei Wuxian doesn’t say that he hasn’t had the stomach for alcohol in months.

Shijie doesn’t particularly look like she buys his story, but she seems to have decided not to push, and instead she just offers him a kind smile. “Alright, I’ll get you some plain congee from the kitchen, then?”

Wei Wuxian grins back, and ignores the way it feels like he’s missing something big.

It’s probably nothing, just one of those strange feelings.

* * *

When Wei Wuxian gets ready for a bath that night, he notices that his usually lean musculature has given way to a little pouch at his stomach.

Huh. Maybe his lack of practice with Suibian was starting to show after all. He  _ had  _ been spending a remarkable amount of time cooped up in his room, experimenting with his demonic cultivation and trying to finetune his inventions.

Maybe he’ll go out for a swim tomorrow, he wouldn’t want to lose his place on the list of young masters, after all.

* * *

Wei Wuxian really  _ does  _ mean to go out for a swim in one of the lotus ponds the next morning, but all his plans are derailed by the nausea that hits the moment he steps out of bed, sending the world spinning around him and bile rising up his throat.

_ What-  _ it’s been  _ weeks,  _ there’s really no sickness that could last this long, could it?

Perhaps Lan Wangji had been right, and demonic cultivation really  _ is  _ destroying him, but did it really have to involve so much vomit?

That’s the scene that Shijie walks in on, Wei Wuxian hunched over a chamberpot and emptying his stomach, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes.

Wei Wuxian barely registers Shijie’s presence in his room, too busy retching, but her hands are gentle as she helps to gather his hair back and out of the way, helping him to the edge of his bed after he’s done purging his guts.

She hands him a cup of tea, which he gulps down gratefully, even as Shijie dampens a thin cloth and wipes the sweat from his brow, eyes concerned as she looks at him.

“A-Xian, are you sure everything is alright? You’ve been sick for a while, haven’t you?”

Wei Wuxian takes another sip of the tea before replying, mustering up as bright of a smile as he can. “It’s really nothing, Shijie, it’s probably just something to do with all that resentful energy I was exposed to in Burial Mounds!”

Shijie doesn’t look like she believes it, and she says as much. “It’s been months, though, almost a year since you left Burial Mounds. Shouldn’t whatever side effects have shown themselves and left already?”

Wei Wuxian forces a chuckle. “It’s resentful energy, Shijie, no one really knows anything about it! Maybe I’ll be like this for the rest of my life!”

Shijie makes a soft sound, almost like she’s been punched, and Wei Wuxian immediately backtracks. “No, no, I didn’t mean that, haha, it’s really fine, Shijie, this shidi of yours is strong, I’ll be fine, don't worry about me! Look at me during the Sunshot Campaign, huh, I could fight even with half my intestines hanging out of my body! Don’t worry, Shijie, nothing bad is going to happen to this shidi!”

“You’ve been ill for weeks, now, though, this is the second time I’ve caught you being sick in the mornings, and the other day you couldn’t even stomach your favourite congee. And your heat hasn’t come at all, they’re usually never… off schedule…”

Shijie’s voice trails off.

“You’ve been very picky about your food lately… and you’ve been wearing your robes looser, it’s not really noticeable but I can tell- A-Xian, A-Xian, are you sure there’s nothing you want to tell me?”

Wei Wuxian looks at Shijie in confusion.

“What is there to tell? It’s just all that resentful energy, and maybe I got food poisoning from eating something weird. What are you talking about, Shijie?”

“A-Xian, are you… did you- did you- maybe- perhaps- share... a heat with- with anyo-”

_ “Shijie!”  _ Wei Wuxian feels his cheeks burning, and even though everyone calls him shameless he can’t believe Shijie would ask something like that. Even  _ he  _ wouldn’t, but-

Shijie had a point, didn’t she?

Unbidden, his hand comes down to press at his belly, eyes flicking down for just a moment before his gaze shoots up to meet Shijie’s once more.

Shijie’s eyes are gentle. “A-Xian, you know you can tell me anything…”

Wei Wuxian freezes. Could Shijie really be right? Is he… with child?

But it had only been once, and on a pseudo-heat where his hormones had been completely out of control. What were the odds?

Something twists inside his chest, a kind of lonely, bittersweet feeling, like someone had warmed his heart before crushing it, like being stabbed as the other person whispered sweet compliments.

If he really was pregnant, the only person the father could be… was Lan Wangji.

Shijie takes his hand, running a gentle hand over his hair, murmuring soft comfort.

Unexpectedly, Wei Wuxian feels his eyes filling with tears. He swipes at them harshly, roughly, trying to hide them before Shijie sees, but his shijie -his sweet, kind, wonderful shijie- just smiles gently at him and strokes his hair. “It’s alright, A-Xian, whenever you’re ready to tell me, okay? Shijie can wait.”

Wei Wuxian buries his face in Shijie’s shoulder for moments more, trying to stop the way the tears are falling without his permission, trying to stop the way his shoulders shake and his jaw trembles.

Even if he’s really carrying Lan Wangji’s child… There’s no way he can tell him. There’s no way he can tell  _ anyone,  _ he’d already coerced Lan Wangji into sharing his heat, he can’t let the world know that the righteous Second Jade of GusuLan had a child out of wedlock. Especially not a child with the infamous Yiling Patriarch. He knows the cultivation world hates him now, his name would forever be blacklisted, and he’ll probably go down in history as the source of all evil in the world- he can’t drag Lan Wangji’s spotless reputation down with him.

No, it would be better to never let anyone know about the child.

And he can’t ever tell Lan Wangji, because the man was so upright, so just, that even though he hated Wei Wuxian, even though there was nothing that he disapproved of more than Wei Wuxian and his demonic cultivation, the moment Lan Wangji knew that Wei Wuxian was pregnant with his child, there was no way he wouldn’t insist on marrying him.

Wei Wuxian couldn’t allow that.

He had already destroyed himself, he wasn’t going to destroy Lan Wangji along with him.

Wei Wuxian sobs harder, and at this point trying not to cry is a lost cause, so he just presses his face to Shijie’s shoulder and lets his tears dampen her robes. Shijie just runs her fingers through his hair and rubs circles into his back, hushing him like he’s a child again.

He should tell Shijie. Shijie, at least, deserves to know, and she’s already guessed anyway.

Shijie would keep a secret for him, if he asked.

So Wei Wuxian pulls away from Shijie’s embrace, wipes his eyes on his sleeves, and swallows heavily. Okay. Okay, he can do this.

“I-” he starts haltingly, refusing to meet Shijie’s gaze. “I- I shared a heat with- with Lan Wangji- three- three months ago.”

Shijie’s hand comes up to cover her mouth, and Wei Wuxian can see the shock in her eyes.

“A-Xian-” she says, but Wei Wuxian cuts her off with a shake of his head.

“You can’t tell anyone, Shijie. Not even Jiang Cheng, okay?”

Shijie looks conflicted for a long moment, her lips partially parted in what would probably have been a protest, but eventually her shoulders droop and she nods in acquiescence.

Wei Wuxian forces a smile, and can’t help the way his hand comes down to cradle his belly once more.

Shijie’s gaze follows the movement, and she bites at her bottom lip for a second, before she opens her mouth again. “If we can’t tell anyone… then… A-Xian- there are- there are herbs, to- to-”

Wei Wuxian freezes. He’d forgotten that those kinds of herbs existed, the kind that would induce a miscarriage, and his fingers tighten around the loose fabric of his robes. It would be the smart thing to do, really. It would solve everything.

But-

He shakes his head, fingers stroking unconsciously at the barely-there swell of his womb.

This is- This is Lan Wangji’s child that he’s carrying, the only proof that there had been a moment, just a single moment, where Lan Wangji had felt for him something that wasn’t hatred or disgust.

This child… Maybe he would have Lan Wangji’s eyes, or Lan Wangji’s nose, or even Lan Wangji’s smile, which Wei Wuxian had only ever seen once in his life, when both of them were covered in sweat and spend, Lan Wangji’s forehead ribbon loose around Wei Wuxian’s wrist.

Maybe the child would have the fine, regal bone structure characteristic of the Lan bloodline, maybe he would grow up to be even more beautiful than his father, maybe he would-

Wei Wuxian swallows, and tilts his head back to stem the tears that begin to well up again.

It’s selfish of him, he knows, to bring a child into a world that would hate them just because of who their mother was. It’s selfish, to bring a child into a world where they would only ever have one parent, where they would have to hide their parentage everywhere they went, where people would discriminate against them just because of who they were.

But Wei Wuxian has never claimed to be selfless. He has never been the kind with enough self-control to withhold his own desires, and this- this is something that he wants more than anything.

He looks at Shijie, his eyes bright with unshed tears, and sees the way Shijie’s eyes widen. Her hands come up to cradle his cheeks, her thumb wiping away the tears that fall, and Wei Wuxian feels something in him break.

Shijie’s voice is soft when she presses a kiss to his forehead and whispers, “You want this child, don’t you?”

Wei Wuxian nods soundlessly.

Shijie smiles softly and hugs him close again. “Okay, then. Shijie will help you, A-Xian, don’t worry, okay, Shijie will always be here for you.”

Wei Wuxian breathes deeply, and the ravine that had opened up in his chest feels like it gets a little smaller.

“Okay. Okay, Shijie.”

**Author's Note:**

> [My Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/_dreamdweller/)  
> Pop over and say hi!


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